Awake, Aware, Alive

I read the following blog yesterday.

How to Live in the Land of Yes

Over the last few months, the power of positive thought has been an important theme in my life.  I can be very cynical and pessimistic.  In my defense, I would tell people that I was just analytical, which actually made me great at my job.  But, I didn't have a full grasp on how the negativity impacted my life.

"I'm not happy at work"
"I could stand to lose a few pounds"
"It is too hard to change"
"I'm too sensitive"
"I will never find the type of guy I'm looking for"
"I'm a mess"

I thought my "inner critic" used the negative thoughts to spur me to action.  If I didn't highlight the problem, how would I ever solve it?  Right?!?  Unfortunately, I didn't realize that this logic was backfiring big time!  

Earlier this week, I felt miserable and trapped.  Things started to heat up at work... and my "inner critic" started to berate me for not executing my "escape plan" in an expeditious fashion.  (I think my "inner critic" uses that corporate lingo to get under my skin)

Instead of jumping to action, I just froze right there - feeling miserable and trapped.  Not only was work stressful, but I was piling blame and anger on top.  So NOT helpful!  :-)

OK, so what should I do differently?  In Gail's blog, she says:

What does it mean to live in the land of Yes? When you inhabit Yes, you are open, receptive, available. You approach each moment with wonder and curiosity, without expectation, with openness.  In the land of Yes, you don’t close down or shut yourself away. You don’t avoid or resist. You are here, present, awake, aware, alive.

I realize that I am happier when I go with the flow.  Yes, it hasn't been as easy as I expected to find a roommate or part-time job.  But, that doesn't have any reflection on me as a human being.  I'm still loving and wonderful and brilliant.  I'm still going to escape Corporate America.  I trust that everything is working out for my highest good.

Phew!  That takes such a huge weight off my shoulders and brings a very big smile to my face!