No news is good news???

Hi there everyone.  I have been at a loss about what to say over the last few weeks.  But I need to start somewhere, so here I go...  


I had a whirlwind week when I quit.  I was in shock.  Then scared.  And then ecstatic.  But by the end of the week, two things had lined up.  The first was a potential volunteer project with one of my favorite charities.  But the second was that my company made me an offer to create my own role!!!  


After thinking about it for a few days and sleeping on it for a few nights, I came back with what I wanted...  Part-time, work-life balance (not expecting me to go above and beyond my 30 hours/week on a regular basis and limiting my travel), a shift in the projects that I worked on, and help to find a mentor within the company.  I was very excited - I was going to get the opportunity to start a few projects outside of work, but I still was going to have benefits and (partial) monetary support from my job.  


At the time, I knew in my heart that it was the right decision.  I knew it would be a struggle, but I felt very confident about the opportunity.  


And now a week has gone by and I've had no word from management.  They never got back to me last week.  And this week, they are all out of town and out of contact.  And work has been it's normal self - crazy, chaotic, and toxic.  


So, now I'm starting to doubt the decision.  I don't need an answer right away.  I know that Corporate America doesn't move quickly.  But I at least would like to know they are making progress.  I want to make sure they realize this wasn't an idle threat - I WILL NOT stay in my current role as it exists today.  Yes, I know it takes time to transition and create something new.  I want to keep my eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel - and their silence makes me feel like I've been cast into darkness.


And I am angry.  They gave me back the ONE thing that was hardest for me to give up by quitting - SECURITY.  I got lulled back into a false sense of security.  And if it doesn't work out, I know I'm going to have to feel the strain of subduing my biggest fear again.


So there you go.  Lots of emotions.  Lots of frustration.  But the light is at the end of the tunnel.  It might be the light of unemployed.  Or it might be the light of a new way to work in Corporate America, the light of standing up for what I want - even if it is against tradition.  My fear is pulling for one light over the other.  My heart is pulling for the light that leads me to my true path.  I'll keep you posted!