Dead squirrels

Hi there folks.  Well, I DID IT!!!!!  :-)  I'm not sure what I expected to feel.  But, I thought you would get a kick out of my first reaction!


At first, I was in shock.  I couldn't believe I actually did it.  Then I cried.  Then I was happy.  All of that happened during the first hour after the words, "I quit", left my mouth.  


But then I was scared.  Shitless.  Yes, my old friend FEAR came running back in and set up camp in the middle of my mind.  I knew he would come.  But I wasn't 100% prepared for the tools he decided to use...  


First, he started by trying to shock me. "What if you're in a serious accident that leaves you paralyzed, what will you do without long term disability insurance?  You'll have to go live with your parents.  And that would be hundreds of times worse than working in Corporate America." 


Then fear decided to get personal.  He started telling me that I wasn't going to be successful outside of Corporate America.  He told me that I would be back working for "the man" within 6 months.


But, he pulled out all stops with this last one.  I had gone to the park and as I was walking along, I noticed this poor little squirrel.  He kept trying to run up a fence.  He would make it about halfway up and then he would fall off, then he'd turn around and try to run right back up the fence, just to fall off again.  I saw him attempt the fence 4-5 times as I approached.  There was another man who was coming from the other direction and we passed each other at the exact location where the squirrel was trying to climb the fence.  


Unfortunately, the poor little squirrel got scared and BOLTED.  
Right into the middle of the street.  
Right under the wheel of an oncoming car.  
SPLAT!


And immediately fear said, "Kim, that's you.  You just freaked out.  You shouldn't have quit because you'll be squished like that poor dumb squirrel."  


I almost lost it.  I started crying.  It really got to me.  


But then I realized, I am not like that poor squirrel.  I am not making a mad dash into danger.  I am making a really smart move.  It might not be a move that makes sense to everyone out there.  But it is the right move for me.


And then I laughed.  How could I let myself get so worked up that I thought the universe was giving me a sign by killing a poor little squirrel before my eyes.


I guess it's official folks, I'm definitely crazy!  But freedom is mine!!!!!!!!!